Fia buried her fingers in her hair. “How could this happen? Why didn’t Rastin tell us?” 

“Of course, he wouldn’t tell us!” Noah said.

They stood in the small rustic room, one of the two they had rented at Markus’s inn. 

“Why would he give a box to Mikael and not warn him?” Fia said. “He would kill his own business.”  

“Or guarantee the labor returns,” Mikael said, gaze on the wooden floor. 

He was angry. At Rastin. Himself. Or perhaps, at Fia. Guilt burrowed in her heart.

“What do we do now?” Akira said.

“We have to tell Abraha,” Noah said. “Come clean.”

“Tell Abraha?” said Fia. “How are we supposed to even find him?”  

Noah drew a breath, but Mikael cut him off. “We are not telling anyone.” 

“Did you even hear Markus?” Noah said, incredulous. “Abraha clipped the wings of the last flier to help Sundry Falls and threw him off the cliff.” 

“I heard him!” Mikael said louder. “We all heard him, and that is exactly why we’re not telling anyone!”

“Mikael, you know he’ll find out,” Noah said.

“Maybe he’ll let it slide… a one-time mistake.”

“No, that’s too risky,” Fia said. “We know nothing about Abraha. We need a better plan.”  

Noah’s gaze slid to Fia, then to Mikael. “Will you not say anything?”

Mikael shot him a look, and Fia felt like the outsider in their shared world—a feeling that had become so familiar it broke her heart.

“Mikael!” Noah gritted. 

“Enough, Noah,” Mikael said. 

Fia grabbed Mikael’s arm and turned him towards her. “What’s going on?”

“Can the soul map take us back?” said Mikael. 

Fia’s brow furrowed. 

“Mikael,” Noah said, jaw tight, “you know that’s a long shot!” 

“Guys, stop fighting,” Akira said. “Let’s think with clear heads.”

No one heard her. 

“We took the money and gave them the tea,” Mikael said. “We can’t just take it back.”

“We give the money to Abraha and come clean!” Noah said.

Fia looked from one to the other, unable to think straight. She remembered Abraha from their short encounter during Mikael’s flying lesson. Polite and helpful, sure, but not kind or forgiving. The man was a past ruler, and while she could easily imagine him being just, she could just as easily imagine him as ruthless. And was it also not justice to punish someone who dealt a drug that was addictive, crippling, and even lethal for his kind?

The four friends had agreed earlier they wouldn’t mention the harvesting at Markus’s Inn. Once there, they gifted the box of tea to Markus, saving a small amount for themselves. Of course, they wanted him to know how special it was so fibbed they bought the wild variety from a traveling salesman. Markus was shocked and immediately asked Mikael if he had drunk any. Fortunately, none of them had—it felt too risky to try it while travelling. Relieved, Markus told them the reason the wild variety was so rare. Abraha forbade it.

Wild nirvana was tenfolds stronger than the farmed one, and though it still had no long-term effects on most people, for the Gifted the tea was addictive even at low doses. Withdrawal was maddening, driving people to unimaginable lengths for more. But it wasn’t just addictive; it crippled the body and eventually killed, all in a matter of a few years. Rehabilitation was possible but there was no relief during withdrawal and no reversal of the damage that had already been done.  

Decades earlier, influential arrivals with Garden gifts, including Abraha, rallied to cut all supplies of the wild tea. The trainers began warning new arrivals, not all of them quite so tactful, as one would expect from volunteers. Then came the infamous mass murder of twenty-three people who had trained in Sundry Falls and formed an underground supply chain of wild nirvana, all within the first five years of their arrival. Nobody took responsibility for the mass murder, but those who witnessed the aftermath swore the killers were Gifted. The murders were followed by the brutal killing of a Gifted harvester, made an example by Abraha himself for betraying his kind.

To pacify Abraha, the Initiator’s Guild forbade their trainers from discussing nirvana tea with new arrivals and avoided Sundry Falls as a training site. The wild tea was still sold by the Sundry Falls’ locals when they managed to harvest it, but only to select buyers through underground traders.

Fia drew a trembling breath. “What if we go to Abraha and he doesn’t listen? How can we be sure he’d forgive us.” 

“We can try—” Noah said. 

“No,” Mikael said. “We’ll follow the plan. If Abraha comes looking, we’ll figure it out.”  

“You’re not thinking straight,” Noah said. “We can’t just ignore this like it never happened.”

Mikael turned to him. “What else can we do?” 

“Let’s go back to the Capital.” 

Just the mention of the place made Fia feel like she was drowning.

“We can sti—” said Noah.

“We are not going back to the Capital,” said Mikael. 

“Stop looking at—”  

“I am not looking at anyone!” 

Anyone? Fia looked at Noah, puzzled. Did he mean her? Did he really have the audacity to turn on her after she and Mikael spent six years in that hell hole for him? Anger flared inside her, matching Mikael’s.

“I know you don’t like to think so,” Mikael said to Noah, “but we can have different opinions without any external influence on me.” 

“Really?” Noah turned to Fia, “How can you be so blind?”

“What the hell do you mean?” said Fia.

Mikael pushed him back. “Just shut up, Noah!”

Akira left the room quietly. Nobody noticed. 

“Mikael, please!” Noah said. “How much longer will you do this?”

“You’re walking on thin ice. Back. Off.”

Noah hesitated, almost desperate when he spoke again. “Mikael, don’t be an idiot, she is not a chi—”

Mikael’s punch to his face silenced him. 

Fia gasped as Noah stumbled to the ground.

He looked up at Mikael in disbelief. “What the hell, Mikael!” 

“Mikael, calm down,” Fia said. “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not okay!” Mikael said, so forcefully that Fia took a step back.

The room suddenly felt very quiet.

Noah rose after a beat, dusted off his robe and ran a hand down the thin braid on one side of his head. He met Mikael’s gaze, then Fia’s. His eyes glistened, perhaps by the force of the punch. She wanted to say something, but had no words. He didn’t wait for her to find them. 

The door clicked behind him. Mikael collapsed on the bed, and Fia sat next to him. From the corner of her eye, she saw him wiping his tears. She sat frozen, remembering Noah held him when he cried. She didn’t know what to do. A few weeks out of the Capital, they’d harvested a narcotic, made enemies with a dangerous man, and now picked a fight with their only friends. 

“Can we look at the map,” Mikael asked.

Fia nodded, glad for the distraction. They spent some time discussing their next destination. Summer was nearing, but Skadi would still be too cold and Abraha was in the Dry Lands, so that left Trench Forests.

Neither Noah nor Akira returned to the room that night; Mikael and Fia didn’t go out looking.

---

In the morning, when they went down to the dining area, Akira was already having breakfast. Soft light filtered in through the slatted windows, casting lines of dancing dust in the air. The room was empty, too late for the first light travelers and too early for anyone else.

“Hey, you.” Fia hugged Akira from behind. “Sorry about last night.”

“It’s okay,” Akira said, munching on her nutty porridge. “It was a lot to take in for everyone.”

 Mikael and Fia grabbed some porridge from the kitchen and sat down across from her on the square table.  

“Where’s Noah?” Fia asked Akira.

“He left already,” Akira said. “I didn’t think it would come to this.” 

Mikael stopped eating and looked up. 

“Left where?” Fia asked. 

“I don’t know,” Akira said. 

“Come to what?” Mikael said. “What did he say when he left?”

Akira looked at him, puzzled. “He didn’t tell you guys?”

“Tell us what?”

“He said—he was going away on his own.” 

Mikael’s eyes quivered. “He left us?” 

Akira squirmed. “Maybe I misunderstood. He probably just went out for something. I’m sure he’ll come back and explain things himself.” 

“Explain what? Stop talking in riddles.”

“Well…” She looked at Fia helplessly.

“Just say it, Akira; what did he say?” Fia said. 

“I slept after leaving you guys, but then woke up before dawn. When I came down, he was here by himself. I asked if you guys decided anything, and he said you two wanted to look for more artefacts. So then I asked him what he thought, and he said his opinion didn’t matter. He said he had no interest in the map, and he was just going to return in the morning without us.”

Fia looked at Mikael. His lowered eyes flicked around the table. How could Noah abandon them at a time like this? What kind of friend cuts and runs when things get serious? She held her tongue, for Mikael’s sake. 

“I’m sorry, Mikael,” Akira said. “I didn’t know he didn’t tell you guys. He gave me this and said you knew where he was going.” She pointed to a pouch on the table. 

Mikael picked up the pouch and there was the familiar rattling of coins as he looked inside. “He meant I’ll figure out where he’s going.” He tucked the pouch in his robe and picked up the bowl of porridge, hardly eaten. “I need some air.”

The swinging door to the kitchen creaked as he walked through, stashed the bowl in the sink and walked out the back door. Fia considered following but then heard the whirring of wings that soon disappeared into the distance. 

---

Fia pried Markus for more before they left. Since the harvester Abraha killed was a regular offender, it seemed likely a one-time harvest would go unnoticed, and Mikael’s plan to continue with the map felt as good as any. 

Despite Mikael’s insistence to the contrary, Fia waited in Grey Peak for a week hoping Noah would return. They also made a detour to the Capital on their way to the Five Sisters. Noah wasn’t there. Shaggu confirmed that he’d come by earlier but stayed only for a day.   

In all this time, she only asked Mikael once where Noah might be. He didn’t answer, and she never asked again.