“You married the man?” Mikael said with a grin. 

“Mikael, what are you doing here?” Fia said, looking him over. His wings were all there, head full of black messy hair, all dangly arms and legs intact. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The kind that his avatar on the gaming forum wore. 

“You look like shit,” he said. 

Fia looked at herself. She was sprawled on the cave floor covered in mud. 

“Well… I fell.”

“Yes, I saw. You’ve got quite a bunch after you.” He clapped his hand to his mouth. “Fia! I can’t even imagine your reaction to the Carnation idiots.”

“What reaction? As if I’m awarded the luxury of a reaction. I don’t even know if I met them or if I was just furniture they breezed by… and Mikael’s girl?! Seriously?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not meant for a girlfriend.”

“Oh that makes it all better then.” Fia frowned. 

Mikael laughed. “Ah the things I had to do to protect you from this all and yet here you are.”

“Don’t kid yourself, Mikael. I wasn’t the one you were protecting.”

His eyes widened. “Fia… you’re not still mad at me are you?”

“Of course, I’m mad at you! No matter how much I try, I cannot forget what you robbed me of!”

“I did my best. You know that.”

“I know. You did your best. Without ever considering that it could be easier if you weren’t doing it alone. That if you let me in, maybe you could’ve done better, we could’ve done better. But we won’t know that, would we.”

Mikael opened his mouth to say something but just sighed. 

“I’ve been mad at you since the day you died and I hate myself for it. It’s even worse than the guilt.”

“Why would you feel guilty? It wasn’t your fault.”

“Because I overestimated myself. 

“Fia, no.”

“I knew you were struggling, I could see it for months, even years, but I was too proud to pry. And then I suggested we fake a drowning when I knew you were already physically exhausted. But that wasn’t even my biggest mistake. We weren’t prepared for the Trench Forests, Mikael. I should’ve known about the trench, that we could escape that way. Even without the map, I should’ve known where we were and where the nearest settlement was but I never studied any part of the map except the direct route across the river. You know, I insisted to go back to get you. Dara said he could fly you back but I insisted we walk. Because I hoped it would be hard that even after reading the map, it would still be impossible to get you out, but it was so easy. We made it there in half a day. And you — you fought to live for three days. I had no clue how to save you, I wasn’t prepared, Mikael, because I didn’t think anything like this could happen to me, and no amount of Noah’s warnings convinced me of it until it was too late.”

“This wasn’t on you, we both went in there, together. Fia, you can’t take all the blame, it’s too much.”

“Not all of it, Mikael, I am still very, very angry at you. But I’ve learned to savour the taste of this cocktail of guilt and anger, it keeps me grounded.” 

“Aww, grown up Fia is so cute.”

“Shut up, you twat.”

Mikael laughed.  

She looked around. The walls and floor were cyan rock. “What’s happening?” she asked. 

“I’m not sure. I don’t know why you would be so reckless for something so pointless.”

“Why am I seeing you?”

“You have the blood of Shai, I’m your gift.”

“What?”

“You know… everyone else wanted wings and what-nots, Shai wanted an ally.”

Fia’s eyebrows wrinkled. “No, I don’t know. Am I dreaming?”

“Possibly. A part of me is just in your mind after all.”

“How do you know this stuff?”

“A glitch. Shai assigned too much memory and didn’t copy the routines for the ally. It was in the list of bugs, but then who had the time for bug fixing.”

“Slow down. Are you saying we are in a video game?”

Mikael bent over in a fit of laughter. “No, of course not! This is a land of hope, not a video game. Or it was going to be if not for the tear in time, or maybe it still is in spite of it. This is real, you’re you… I’m dead.” He smiled. 

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

“I’m imagining you, aren’t I?”

“No… I’m as Alpha wrote. Fia, you should wake up now.”

“What?”

“Wake up now, Fia.”

“Wait, Mikael.”

“You have the blood, Fia. You will figure it out. Wake up, now. You’re making him worried.”

“What blood? Don’t leave!”

“I’m a part of you, I won’t leave. You will always have me.”

Fia jolted awake. 

Dara was leaning over her. “Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded, looking down at herself. “Oh thank God!” he said, taking her into his arms. She was lying on the floor but there was no mud on her robes or anywhere for that matter. The cyan colored rock that surrounded her was cool to the touch and the ceiling glowed every metre or so, like there were electric lamps behind it. The space was large enough to hold a hundred people, but right now there were only seven. 

“I’m so sorry,” Dara added.

Fia grimaced. “Don’t say that for at least a few days.” 

“Yes, please,” Akira and Noah said together and Andrik snickered. 

Fia shook her head and got up. The space reminded her of a control room out of a science fiction, only none of the surfaces that rose from the ground were actually control tables. They were just rock, cyan coloured structures, the same as the rest of the cave. They had reached this part before as well, it was the square room. But she had been so disoriented by the toxin then that she didn’t take in anything. In the centre there was a table that had smaller rocks surrounding it, like a round table with chairs but the shapes were natural on closer inspection. It was just the impression it gave. She looked up at the ceiling again. Could they be powered by some naturally occurring substance too, she wondered.

“Were these on when you came?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Dara said. 

She looked at the tables. Dara shook his head and she stopped eyeing them. 

Raija stepped towards the satchel and Pekka turned his sword to her and Dara drew his. 

“Raija, stop testing me, please,” Dara said

“Oh come on, guys. Do we really have to do this? Yes you can probably overpower me, but you think I won’t take one of you down with me, and what when you get out? Put the swords away.”

Dara looked at Pekka. Pekka sighed and sheathed his sword and sat down on one of the rocks surrounding the large centre table. 

“Pekka!” Dara said. 

“Oh come on, Dara, she has a point. Let’s talk it over,” Pekka said. 

“I can’t believe you’re the one advocating for a dialog,” he said, sheathing his sword. 

“And I can’t believe you unleashed the Carnation army upon my people,” Raija said. 

“I don’t command the Carnation army. I didn’t unleash them anywhere. But I’m certainly glad they are here with the way you have been acting,” Dara said. 

“Sit down,” Pekka said as he laid out his small knives on the table, and picked one up, beginning to clean it with a rag. He paused and looked at Fia. Dara saw him staring and turned around. “Can we have a few minutes to talk, please?” he said to Fia and the others. They nodded and backed away into a corner. 

“What happened out there?” Akira asked. “Is Raija friend or foe?”

“I think the two of them are not on the same page about that,” Fia said. “What do you guys think?”

They all shrugged. The noise from the battle was dying down. Fia wondered if it was just fatigue or if one side was overpowering the other. 

“They’ve stopped talking,” Noah said, after a while. Pekka was cleaning his knives, Raija was observing the table in front of her and Dara was apparently lost in thought but Fia knew he was anything but lost. “Fia go ask now if we can explore the place,” Noah said. 

She gingerly walked up to them and Dara smiled. “What’s going on?” she asked. 

He just stared at her and then looked back at Pekka. “Raija wants to talk to you,” Pekka said. 

“Yes, let’s do that,” she said. 

“You don’t need to,” Dara said.

“I want to,” Fia said, sitting down. 

“So can you share what you found? Perhaps a summary,” Raija said.

Fia looked at Dara and he nodded. Fia told her about the rocks that powered the machine and Dara told her he was able to find the slots for them in the trees. He steered the conversation so he didn’t need to mention the toxin while also making it clear to Fia that she shouldn’t either. Raija smiled as she listened to everything. 

“I never even tried to retrieve these. This was your destiny. It had to be you,” Raija said. 

“I don’t know, we still have to find the machine here,” Fia said, looking around again. “And we haven’t even figured out what the fuel is yet.”  

“You are the fuel, Fia. Your blood. It’s special, it’s what pulled Mikael here in the first place. You can power the machine, send us all back.” Raija rose up to come closer to Fia. “If you let—”

Dara drew his sword halfway and Raija laughed softly before returning to her seat. Fia frowned at Dara and he smiled, pulling her next to him. Raija found the hug earlier rather uncharacteristic of Dara, but he had been acting strange since she came for some reason so she didn’t think much of it. But what finally tipped her off was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It was just the way he looked at her, the playful apology with an unsaid but clear intention to repeat, Fia’s contradicting smile that encouraged and reprimanded at the same time, the familiarity in his touch as he held her hand, the affection in her eyes as she wrapped her fingers around his. All the things that made new lovers adorable or nauseating depending on who you ask. 

“Ok hold on, what’s going on here?” Raija said.

“You have a daughter-in-law,” Pekka said. 

Raija looked from Dara to Fia and back to Pekka. “And you’re telling me now!?” she said. “Also, it’s grand-daughter-in-law!”.

“Sister-in-law!” Dara corrected. It wasn’t about age or even the nature of their relationship, which was one of friendship through and through. It was about the pecking order.

Raija looked at Dara with adoring eyes. “I’m so happy,” she said. “I really am. I saw the sparks flying at Giza that night, but I thought it was new, not that you would be married already. Since when has this been going on?”

“It’s fairly recent, Raija, I’m just very efficient,” Dara said. 

“Since she arrived,” Pekka said. 

“Good God!” Raija cried. Fia turned to Dara with surprised eyes as he fought a smile. 

“How did you know?” Raija asked Pekka.

“He tripped when she looked at him.” 

“No, I didn’t,” Dara said. “You have an overactive imagination.”

Pekka ignored him. “When does he ever trip when a girl looks at him?” 

“Never! Not even if a couple dozen girls look at him.” Raija laughed. 

“Exactly. And then he nearly got us all killed, her included.”

“When did that happen?” Fia said. “Wait… At the burrows?” Dara gave a cheeky smile but didn’t answer. “How was that because of me?” she said.

“You yelped,” Pekka said. 

“I yelped?” Fia said.

“You did,” Dara said. 

Raija laughed. “You shameless man. She was a little girl.”

“I was 18 years old.” 

“His perverted sense of honour makes him think that as long as he didn’t reciprocate her advances, it was okay to lust after her,” Pekka said.

“Lust after her?” Dara said with a frown. “Pekka, can you please use language more often so you don’t sound so perverse when you do open your mouth!”

“Hey, I was 18 years old!” Fia said. 

“Oh honey, you couldn’t speak when you looked at him,” Raija said. 

“Ha ha, that was only the first few days. I more than just spoke after that.” Dara opened his mouth and then closed it. “I’m not helping, am I,” Fia said. He shook his head. She shrunk into herself with a pout. His eyes ruthlessly laughed before his lips mouthed “I love you”, earning him only an eye roll. 

“Aww look at you two,” Raija said. “My heart may just burst with happiness!” But her smile slowly faded as she looked at them.“You can’t go back, can you?” she said. “You got married. You both knew there was no way back for either of you.”

Fia and Dara exchanged a look. 

“The notes she found clearly stated that they couldn’t find a way to send anyone back,” Pekka said. 

Raija’s face turned dark. “If you know this, then why are you here?”

Pekka just stared back at her. 

Raija looked back at Fia and let out a dry laugh. “You want to revive him.”

Fia looked away. 

“I put him in the ground with you, why would you put a soul into that body again. There’s no part of it that’s not broken.”

“We haven’t figured that out yet.”

“It’s funny how history repeats itself.  Did you know Alpha was also trying to revive her secondary?”

Fia nodded. 

“Then do you know what happened when she tried?” Raija said. 

Fia’s face changed. “There’s nothing in the notes about an attempt. Her diaries are only filled with details of the process.” 

“Of course, not. It was in her last diary. The one I took out from the satchel before I left it in the burrows. She couldn’t do it. It would’ve killed her. But she was happy to do it still, just as I can see now in your eyes, the altruistic self-sacrifice to return the years that were stolen from your friend. Only she realised she may die before the process finished and even if by some miracle she succeeded to bring her back, she would’ve made her the target of the people she was running away from herself. To leave Beta alone here would be as big an injustice to her as living alone without her was for her. That’s why she hid the stones and ran away to the Dry Lands. Too bad she was caught and killed just the same.”

“No…” Fia said. For the past four years, she had thought about nothing but bringing Mikael back. Before she entered the cave she felt so close she could almost see it. “That can’t be, there must be a way.”

“There has to be a way to go back!” Raija said. 

“There isn’t one!” Fia said. “They tried for decades, they never found anything that could make a reverse connection possible. The arrivals were all brought here, nobody went back. All the notes… her diaries… there are pages filled with a way to revive someone.”

Raija clenched her fist, as her eyes filled with anger. “It was a desperate cry of a grieving sister! How could she bring a soul here again when it was already here and lost! What would she bring from Earth?”

Fia’s eyes quivered as she searched for answers. Dara held her hand and her eyes welled up. 

Raija’s frustration suddenly cleared and Pekka’s hand wiping the blade slowed down. “Fia, let’s go over the notes again,” Raija said. “Maybe we can figure something out. We don’t know when she wrote which diary, I could be wrong.”

Fia looked at her, her spirit lifting again. Dara gave Pekka a look. 

“Raija, don’t give her false hope for your own designs,” Pekka said. 

“It’s not false hope,” Raija said. 

“It’s not Mikael you want to bring here, is it?” he said.

“It can be Mikael, but once we figure things out, it can be anyone,” she said. She turned to Fia. “Look Fia, you are not alone like Alpha. I will help you, I will find the right people to make it work, to make sure we find a way that doesn’t harm you. If we figure this out, just imagine the possibilities.”

“Raija, you are not making her a lab rat,” Dara said. 

“Don’t be naive, Dara!” 

“She’s my wife, Raija!”

Pekka looked at his knife, satisfied that it was clean, he placed it on the table and picked another one. “Stop playing God, Raija,” he said. “How do you know the ones you want to bring here would want this life?”

“Because they carry my blood. I know them better than anyone.”

“You knew them over three and a half centuries ago. And what of the other factions? Do you think you can hide such a big thing?”

“Who would tell them?”

“I don’t know… The souls you migrate, the people who you assign to bring the bodies for those souls, the people who knew the original owners of those bodies, the list is quite long. Or just the people standing out there right now.”

“The people out there are just here to foil Abraha’s secret plan to take over the world. They have no idea of the size of the discovery we are sitting on. I’ve guarded this secret for so long, even from you. You think I can’t guard it now?”

“Have you considered there may be more dead before you even bring a single soul into this world.”

“Since when do we let fear dictate us?”

“Since we started dealing in people’s lives. Raija, why won’t you give this up?”

“I cannot, Pekka.” 

“You know well that we can overpower you and get Fia out of here. Your people are outside, and you say so yourself that they have no idea what’s happening inside. They will let us leave without any questions asked. As long as we cut ties from you, Abraha wouldn’t hurt us either. What reason do we have to stay here?”

Raija laughed. “You think I will not find you if you do. I can’t let this go, Pekka. You should understand. You know what I’m fighting for. I will do everything to get it, but you have to trust me, I will not harm Fia or any of you in the process. If I wanted to do that I would have done it years ago.”

“I am not sure I’m convinced of the reasons why you didn’t do it years ago,” Dara said. “I’m thinking you were unsure. Giving them the satchel was throwing the dice and waiting for a favourable outcome.”

“You’re so full of shit, Dara,” she said. “I know she’s your wife, but I’m your friend. The first you had in this world. Have some faith.”

Dara’s eyebrow twitched. 

“What if you mess up?” Pekka said. “What if the souls you pull get lost on the way, or broken. You know we are all damaged when we get here. What if all you bring is a shell.” 

“Then we try again,” Raija said. 

“Again? How can you?” Pekka asked.

“Pekka,” she said, putting her hand on his leg. 

He stopped cleaning his knife and looked at her. There was over a century of history there, a century of empathy, friendship, love. 

“You need to understand,” she said. “I have had decades to think about this. I’ve weighed the consequences, the price of all this. It’s worth it. We are not putting anyone in danger.”

“No? You think bringing damaged souls over and over until you get things right is not hurting anyone?”

“No. Because we are likely nothing but copies. Isn’t that why Fia thought she could bring Mikael back? Because he is still somewhere, waiting to be woken up. Even if it doesn’t work, even if the first attempt is a failure, one lost soul here is simply erasing a copy. It means nothing.”

Pekka’s eyes filled with pain. “Thank you, Raija,” he said. 

She smiled. “Ahh Pekka. What would you thank me for?”

“For making this easy,” he said. Raija’s face hardened as she grabbed his wrist. He smacked the handle of the knife on the table with his other hand, catching it mid air and stabbing her heart. 

Fia froze in shock as Dara rushed to catch Raija in his arms. Neither Pekka nor Dara seemed surprised. 

Raija stared at the knife in her chest and then looked at them. Pekka’s knives were not dangerous for an arrival like Raija. But a knife to the heart was a different matter. “You never intended to let me leave, did you?” she said. 

Pekka’s eyes dropped. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s who you are. I’m sorry that I forgot that.” He hadn’t pulled the knife out, the blood seeped out slowly, more with each beat. “Sheathing the swords, making sure I was the only one who knew.” Raija gave out a dry laugh. “You act so honourable, yet I haven’t seen a pair as deceitful as the two of you.” Tears of pain flowed down the corners of her eyes as her body began to go limp. “I thought I was different, that it would never be me… It’s for your wife, isn’t it, Dara? Your friends of three days. It’s for them that I’m bleeding out here in your arms… Oh Fia, you poor girl. Enjoy it while it lasts. It’s a good feeling to be loved by them, they make it feel so real.”

A shadow of shame covered Dara’s eyes as he glanced at Fia before turning his eyes down. “I would like to think that I would’ve done the same for anyone,” he said.  

“You would, wouldn’t you,” Raija said. “You like to think such things even though they are a farce. And Pekka you? Would you do it for anyone? Would you kill me for just anyone?”

Pekka squeezed her hand, eyes glinting. 

“Three hundred and seventy five years, that’s how long I lived. I buried eleven people who I thought I would never be able to live without, and yet I lived on. I was ready to end my life until I found those diaries and that map. Ah Pekka, you knew everything. Three hundred and seventy five years, and I spent only four of them holding those tiny hands, and yet their memory never faded. They were my salvation. And to think of all the people, it was you who snatched it from me.”

“Maybe you’re wrong, Raija. Maybe we are not copies,” Dara said. “Isn’t it possible that this is just a dream? That you would wake up back with them when this is all over?”

Raija laughed dryly. “Tell him Pekka. I am stuck between two boats. The thought of never having met the ones I met here, or not remembering them, it hurts just as much as the thought of never being able to go back to the ones I left behind. For a brief moment just now I thought I could have it all.” She smiled at Pekka. “I forgot that you could never have that hope. How could I expect you to understand? He would though if he’s as unlucky as you and I. He would understand what it’s like to have that hope.”

Pekka kissed her forehead and wiped the tears from her eyes. “You can rest now,” he said. “I hope you will meet them all. I hope someday we will meet them all.”

A fresh stream of tears flowed down her eyes. “Thank you, Pekka. To think I find comfort in your words even now,” she said as she closed her eyes. A few minutes later, her breathing stopped.